Season Marked by Poor Effort

With week 4 of RIP Cory action in the books, some immense surprises have arisen. Foremost, the Mamba has nursed its body back to health after being wounded in a fierce mongoose battle in week 1 to become one of the hottest teams in the league. Whipped Already? (co-owned by Sam and Trashley Widmer) is another squad on the rise, having bounced back from a vicious beating at the hands of the league-leading Natalie Clark Brighton in week 1.

Alas, for every cinderella story, there must also be a silly sophomore with a J-fro, and Chris Tecca has both these qualities in spades. At the time we went to press, his matchup had not yet been completed, but rest assured, he will find some way to lose, as he has managed to do nearly every other week. Another fallen giant, in more ways than one, is the Gunnar Shaw-owned Grizzly Adams Had a Beard, which is currently in the midst of a two game skid.

Other than these erratic performers, the season has been marked by parity and consistency. Each team has both won and lost a game, and the playoff races are tight, with no clear frontrunner. The other teams are: the always abysmal Lata Jobin, the mercurial Illness All Over the Yard, the quietly excellent Ferguson, and Disregard Women Obtain Currency, whose owner shall remain nameless, but has recently gotten himself. Finally, there is the team owned by Will "Mongoots" Gautier, who has been too consumed with watching youtube videos of subpar quality to actually name his team. Seahorses 4eva.