As my new job as a crossing guard, I have realized there are some crazy drivers out there. I know that it is early in the morning, but sleepiness doesn't justify their behavior. Everyday there are drivers decide whether or not they want to stop. Every now and then someone will get distracted while they are stopped, and it will take them a few seconds to realize that I am beckoning them to move forward. If I get the chance, I am going to creep up to one of the sleeping drivers and bang harshly on their hood; hopefully this will elicit some sort of irrational reaction from the driver; by the same token, hopefully the driver won't be surprised and stomp on the gas. I suppose that my directions aren't always the clearest, but there're not that bad.
Every morning, there is one asian couple that turns left from Summer Street onto Lebanon Street. The driver is female and wears glasses. And yes, she is often awarded the "Worst Driver of the Morning" award. She always creeps up to the line, leans over her steering wheel, and points questioningly in the direction she wants to go. "Can I turn left?" No, the circular motion of my arm is merely a friendly morning wave. Once I spell out the turning left is OK, she procedes as far forward as possible--making me jump out of the way before I get run over--and then cuts a very sharp left. This story isn't supposed to re-enforce any stereotypes, but let's face it: it certainly doesn't not support any stereotypes.
The best part of the job is wearing the neon green jacket. It is a very nice shell: high collar, wide cuffs, eye-hurting color. I would really look like a boss if it said something cooler across the back; I was thinking "SWAT" would look nice. It is also a great jacket to wear while riding my motorcycle. It is next to impossible to miss its radioactive glow.
Keeping you safe in your cars and on the crosswalks,
Your neighborhood crossing guard.
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