As I'm sure you know (at least I hope you know), it's fall right now. More importantly, it's football season. I have always loved football, but I really started to develop a true love for it a few years back when I started playing fantasy football. I am in a fantasy football league with seven of my friends and every Sunday we get together and watch the games. Those days are some of the best of the year for me. I'm not quite sure why, but for the 9 hours (more or less) I spend both sitting in front of the television with my friends and watching football and then going outside to play football, I am having the best time ever. It's a great way to end the week, and it is the one long break I get from school. Currently, the two teams I root for, the Patriots and the Cardinals, are 2-0 and 1-1 respectively. The third team is root for, my fantasy team, is also 1-1, with the loss coming this past weekend. As I am sitting here and doing homework, I am already looking forward to next Sunday. Fall seems to be the best time of the year. I love it because the leaves turn color because it means its apple picking and pumpkin pie season, and, most importantly, because its football season!
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Friday, September 16, 2016
The Greatest Movie of All Time: Space jam
Rainier
You ever seen a movie that inspired you and changed your life? Maybe it was Braveheart maybe it was Rocky maybe it was Good Will Hunting maybe it was the Wizard of Oz. But the movie that had the biggest impact on me was none of these. My favorite movie doesn’t have a yellow brick road or a corny plot about an underdog. My favorite movie has a plot way more important than that and a star studded cast to go along with it. When you think of Michael Jordan you think of 6 NBA championships you think of 5 mvps you think of horrible HanesTM commercials. You don’t think of his role in the greatest movie of all time. But Michael Jordan did have a role in the greatest movie of all time and he starred alongside Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan is the best combination we have seen since they decided to have common ground and the bus evacuation drill on the same day!
In the movie an evil alien theme park boss wants to capture the whole Looney Tunes gang and bring them to his theme park so more people will come to it. When the evil aliens gang the “Nerdlucks” come to capture the Looney Tunes squad, Bugs Bunny challenges the Nerdlucks to a game of basketball to decide if the Looney Tunes have to go be slaves at the theme park. Huge Stakes, think Red Sox vs Yankees game 7 of the American League Championship. The Looney Tunes posse are trash at basketball so they enlist the help of Michael Jordan. What the Looney Tunes squad don’t know is that the Nerdlucks stole the basketball skills from players such as the legend himself Larry Bird, and from Charles Barkley. The basketball game is an epic showdown; a showdown almost as big as the Olympians versus the Titans. Ultimately the Looney Tunes squad prevails thanks largely in part to Mr. Michael Jordan's tremendous performance.
The reason this movie spoke to me on a spiritual level was because I realize that however low I ever get in life, I can always find comfort in knowing that Michael Jordan was able to carry a whole team on his back and not have to do arthritis medication commercials later in life.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Almost nobody screws up this bad
When I woke up, I didn't know where I was. I quickly sat up, and... I promptly smashed my head against something. My head snapped back and I groaned. At least, I tried to groan. Only then did I realize, I couldn't groan! In fact, I could speak. Panicking, I moved my arms, feeling the smooth sides of the box I was in. I started banging on the sides. I started kicking at what seemed to be the roof. Amidst all the banging, I could hear faint scuffling noises coming from outside my enclosed area. I stopped my noise making and strained to hear the mumbles that were drawing closer.
The mumbles stopped, and my container lurched to the side. The ceiling was thrown open, and a bright light flooded my vision. I lifted my hands to my face in vain to reduce the light coming at me.
Finally, my eyes adjusted and I could make out the skeletal structure of my hands. Literally, I could see the bones. My thoughts froze to one word. "What?" I moved my hands, marveling at how the tiny little bones in my hands were held together by nothing, and yet they never fell off.
"Finally. You have awoken. Rise, skeleton number... um... where was that list? Ah! Here it is. Let's see. Hmm.... Ah yes. You are skeleton number 504,032." a voice from the side spoke. I lifted my head to see a figure, face obscured by a very droopy hood attached to a flowing robe.
"You have the honor of attending his glorious majesty Emperor Nico's Necromancer division. As a skeleton, you will be tasked to defend the Necromancer division from aggressors." I lifted my feet up and over the rim of the box I was in. I stood up, not quite coming up to the mysterious man's height.
"Go down the hall and to the left. Armory is down there, along with other skeletons." I stared at the man, or woman; I couldn't tell. "Well? Go! I don't have all day!" The person turned, and promptly dismissed me from his mind. As I walked off, I could hear him pull out another box, open the lid, and start spewing out the same speech that he told me.
"What a very inefficient system," I thought. Then, "Why am I a skeleton?"
The mumbles stopped, and my container lurched to the side. The ceiling was thrown open, and a bright light flooded my vision. I lifted my hands to my face in vain to reduce the light coming at me.
Finally, my eyes adjusted and I could make out the skeletal structure of my hands. Literally, I could see the bones. My thoughts froze to one word. "What?" I moved my hands, marveling at how the tiny little bones in my hands were held together by nothing, and yet they never fell off.
"Finally. You have awoken. Rise, skeleton number... um... where was that list? Ah! Here it is. Let's see. Hmm.... Ah yes. You are skeleton number 504,032." a voice from the side spoke. I lifted my head to see a figure, face obscured by a very droopy hood attached to a flowing robe.
"You have the honor of attending his glorious majesty Emperor Nico's Necromancer division. As a skeleton, you will be tasked to defend the Necromancer division from aggressors." I lifted my feet up and over the rim of the box I was in. I stood up, not quite coming up to the mysterious man's height.
"Go down the hall and to the left. Armory is down there, along with other skeletons." I stared at the man, or woman; I couldn't tell. "Well? Go! I don't have all day!" The person turned, and promptly dismissed me from his mind. As I walked off, I could hear him pull out another box, open the lid, and start spewing out the same speech that he told me.
"What a very inefficient system," I thought. Then, "Why am I a skeleton?"
Monday, September 12, 2016
A Day in the Life of Michael Bay
Michael Bay is known for his: poor plot conception; nonexistent character development; and excessive product placement, explosions, and some sort of fighting that his movies have become a formulaic interpretation of what I can only assume is his daily life. However, even with my authoritative arrogance when it comes to the film industry, I actually have absolutely no idea how a successful director of cinema goes about his daily routine. So without further ado, I give you my interpretation of a day in the life of Michael Bay.
I wake up every morning at 8 AM sharp and sit my ass down to a delicious bowl of delicious Frosted Flakes (They're Great) and start pumping some tasty jams through this radical new speaker system called the Beats Pill. Then I walk out to my yellow, racing striped Camaro where I keep pumping those crucial beats through my Camaro's newly installed BeatsAudio surround sound car speakers. These, I have to say, were an excellent investment. Then, out of the blue, a group of robot aliens descends from the sky and begins its hostile invasion of the world. Me, being the completely useless and utterly ill-equipped human that I am, decide to go to war with the giant alien bad guys. And look! My bravery has paid off and there is a completely scientific and accurate reason why my yellow Camaro has just turned into one of the same robot aliens but he's on my side! What are the odds! (seriously guys this can't be that astronomical, it happens to me basically every day). But... Oh shit, there's more. A completely different group of aliens that have no affiliation with the giant sky robots have emerged from the depths of the Pacific Ocean and I am needed in China in a building, named by a twelve-year-old, full of giant animatronic robots that can only be operated telepathically by two people who share a deep and psychological connection, or, you know, two people that just met or resent each other, basically any two people can be put into these twenty ton machines and shipped off into the ocean to try and save the planet. But wait, we are just now receiving information that a third crew of aliens, this time from space again, has come into a small island in the middle of the ocean and has completely invaded our navy and taken over our Battleships, which for some reason were all anchored right off the coast of this tiny island. That reminds me, Battleship is a great game, and Hasbro is a great company for making this great game. Ooh, that gives me a great idea for a movie about an alien invasion that happens during the middle of a true world war where there's like seven different opposing armies spread out all across the globe. But anyways, back to these island aliens who have now basically killed Rhianna, but she's actually fine and so are we because those aliens are dead. Just in time too because we just got word from NASA that a huge meteor is about to collide with earth and I have been charged with the difficult task of teaching oil drillers how to be astronauts (trust me, it's a lot easier to teach oil drillers to be astronauts than it is to teach astronauts how to use a big fucking drill). Anyways, what they're going to do is drill into the center of the asteroid and put a nuclear device inside so that it blows up and doesn't hit the earth in one immense piece, more like shower it 20 slightly smaller pieces that will only leave the earth covered in a nuclear winter for the next few millennia. Oh yeah, update on the crisis with space robots, they're all dead because the electromagnetic waves, or whatever, blew them all up and now New York is gone.... But we're still here!!! Also, we strapped a nuke to the back of one of our robots in China and sent it through this weird portal thing that all the sea aliens were coming through and that blew up so the earth is saved again. Oh, and in the span of an hour we prepped the space launch with all of the necessary calculations perfect but somehow we still managed to mess things up, fix them, and leave one of our crew members behind on the asteroid for some unknown reason while the rock blew up and saved our planet. Then at around 1:30 PM I have lunch and call it a day.
I wake up every morning at 8 AM sharp and sit my ass down to a delicious bowl of delicious Frosted Flakes (They're Great) and start pumping some tasty jams through this radical new speaker system called the Beats Pill. Then I walk out to my yellow, racing striped Camaro where I keep pumping those crucial beats through my Camaro's newly installed BeatsAudio surround sound car speakers. These, I have to say, were an excellent investment. Then, out of the blue, a group of robot aliens descends from the sky and begins its hostile invasion of the world. Me, being the completely useless and utterly ill-equipped human that I am, decide to go to war with the giant alien bad guys. And look! My bravery has paid off and there is a completely scientific and accurate reason why my yellow Camaro has just turned into one of the same robot aliens but he's on my side! What are the odds! (seriously guys this can't be that astronomical, it happens to me basically every day). But... Oh shit, there's more. A completely different group of aliens that have no affiliation with the giant sky robots have emerged from the depths of the Pacific Ocean and I am needed in China in a building, named by a twelve-year-old, full of giant animatronic robots that can only be operated telepathically by two people who share a deep and psychological connection, or, you know, two people that just met or resent each other, basically any two people can be put into these twenty ton machines and shipped off into the ocean to try and save the planet. But wait, we are just now receiving information that a third crew of aliens, this time from space again, has come into a small island in the middle of the ocean and has completely invaded our navy and taken over our Battleships, which for some reason were all anchored right off the coast of this tiny island. That reminds me, Battleship is a great game, and Hasbro is a great company for making this great game. Ooh, that gives me a great idea for a movie about an alien invasion that happens during the middle of a true world war where there's like seven different opposing armies spread out all across the globe. But anyways, back to these island aliens who have now basically killed Rhianna, but she's actually fine and so are we because those aliens are dead. Just in time too because we just got word from NASA that a huge meteor is about to collide with earth and I have been charged with the difficult task of teaching oil drillers how to be astronauts (trust me, it's a lot easier to teach oil drillers to be astronauts than it is to teach astronauts how to use a big fucking drill). Anyways, what they're going to do is drill into the center of the asteroid and put a nuclear device inside so that it blows up and doesn't hit the earth in one immense piece, more like shower it 20 slightly smaller pieces that will only leave the earth covered in a nuclear winter for the next few millennia. Oh yeah, update on the crisis with space robots, they're all dead because the electromagnetic waves, or whatever, blew them all up and now New York is gone.... But we're still here!!! Also, we strapped a nuke to the back of one of our robots in China and sent it through this weird portal thing that all the sea aliens were coming through and that blew up so the earth is saved again. Oh, and in the span of an hour we prepped the space launch with all of the necessary calculations perfect but somehow we still managed to mess things up, fix them, and leave one of our crew members behind on the asteroid for some unknown reason while the rock blew up and saved our planet. Then at around 1:30 PM I have lunch and call it a day.
The Etiquette of Acknowledgement
Since moving to Hanover three years ago I noticed something. Strangers suck. Yes their are gems, the odd one out that will turn out to be a great friend but the general lack of friendliness I've seen has been astonishing. I walk to school nearly everyday and I pass the same person waiting for her bus stop. Everyday I observe the same odd behavior, she looks off into oblivion, trying, straining to avoid my gaze. This isn't abnormal behavior for the area. I've been seeing this general "social constipation" all across New England. So what does one do if a stranger is approaching them on the street? Panicking and avoiding any possible social confrontation is not the solution. Stay calm and unless on the off chance that they are a pedophile you can calm down and make eye contact with them or acknowledge their prescience in any way you think is appropriate. This is only the first step in letting yourself go. When two people are willing to remove their social barriers magic can happen, unfortunately this magic is all too rare in New England. People are so invested in the own lives that they are forgetting something important, the human species! That unique interconnect web only available to us, take advantage of it, say hello.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Arsenal Rant
Arsenal vs. Liverpool F.C. is one of the greatest match-ups in the history of Football. This past evening we witnessed just why.
The match took place at Anfield, the historic home of Liverpool. After a dominating opening few minutes by the home side, they took a one-nil lead off a Roberto Firmino snap shot from inside the 18 yard box. The start to my headache. Arsenal fought back as well as they could, even though they seemed "off" all night. In the 15th minute, Olivier Giroud, arsenals striker, won a towering header just outside the box to free up the young costa rican winger, Joel Campbell. Campbell took a touch and swept the ball into the box towards Aaron Ramsey, who nicked the ball past Simon Mignolet, Liverpool's keeper, and into the back of the net.
Firmino responded just four minutes later with a beautiful, curled effort into the top right corner of Arsenal's net, but again, Arsenal responded minutes later with Giroud nodding home a corner. 2-2 and a thrilling opening 20 minutes to the match. The score would remain the same until the 54th minute when Giroud found the ball inside the box and with a quick 1-2 turn and shot, slotted the ball past Mignolet for his 14th goal of the season.
All went well for the rest of the match, Arsenal held firm their 3-2 advantage until Joe Allan, a substitute, poked home after a scramble in the box in the 90th minute of the match. Absolute heartbreak for Arsenal Fans everywhere who were about to celebrate winning at Anfield and taking a two-point advantage at the top of the table. Still, the point they secured was enough to keep them top of the table above Leicester City, but only on goal difference.
I often question my love for Arsenal as they give me migraine after migraine, but in retrospect, we are still on top of the table with just 17 games remaining. Come on You Gunners! That is all.
The match took place at Anfield, the historic home of Liverpool. After a dominating opening few minutes by the home side, they took a one-nil lead off a Roberto Firmino snap shot from inside the 18 yard box. The start to my headache. Arsenal fought back as well as they could, even though they seemed "off" all night. In the 15th minute, Olivier Giroud, arsenals striker, won a towering header just outside the box to free up the young costa rican winger, Joel Campbell. Campbell took a touch and swept the ball into the box towards Aaron Ramsey, who nicked the ball past Simon Mignolet, Liverpool's keeper, and into the back of the net.
Firmino responded just four minutes later with a beautiful, curled effort into the top right corner of Arsenal's net, but again, Arsenal responded minutes later with Giroud nodding home a corner. 2-2 and a thrilling opening 20 minutes to the match. The score would remain the same until the 54th minute when Giroud found the ball inside the box and with a quick 1-2 turn and shot, slotted the ball past Mignolet for his 14th goal of the season.
All went well for the rest of the match, Arsenal held firm their 3-2 advantage until Joe Allan, a substitute, poked home after a scramble in the box in the 90th minute of the match. Absolute heartbreak for Arsenal Fans everywhere who were about to celebrate winning at Anfield and taking a two-point advantage at the top of the table. Still, the point they secured was enough to keep them top of the table above Leicester City, but only on goal difference.
I often question my love for Arsenal as they give me migraine after migraine, but in retrospect, we are still on top of the table with just 17 games remaining. Come on You Gunners! That is all.
We are Tottenham haters, still.
We Are Tottenham Haters Pt 3?
"What do u think of Tottenham, S*it, What do u think of s*it, Tottenham,
Thank You,
That's Alright.We hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham,
We hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham,
We hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham,
We are the Tottenham haters, "
We hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham,
We hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham,
We are the Tottenham haters, "
The infamous arsenal chant and root to the titles of my posts. This chant is probably the most well known by the red army of arsenal fans. It' amazing to hear this chant after every match, especially when we get to look down from the top of the table and see Tottenham sitting 7 points and 4 places below us.
The famous Tottenham/Arsenal rivalry dates all the way back to the early 1913 when The Royal Woolwich Arsenal switched stadiums to within 4 miles of Tottenham's. In 1919, Tottenham were voted to be relegated from the first division after finishing last, and Arsenal (finishing 5th in the 2nd division) were voted to replace Tottenham's position in the first division. This was the last time Tottenham had finished above Arsenal until 1961, when Tottenham won the league. Ever since that year, Arsenal has finished above Tottenham in every single league season.
I find the whole story absolutely hilarious being an Arsenal fan, but we also have to respect Tottenham as a football club, because what happened to them was very similar to what happened to the Native Americans after the Europeans started flooding into the new world. That is all.
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