Almost nobody screws up this bad

When I woke up, I didn't know where I was. I quickly sat up, and... I promptly smashed my head against something. My head snapped back and I groaned. At least, I tried to groan. Only then did I realize, I couldn't groan! In fact, I could speak. Panicking, I moved my arms, feeling the smooth sides of the box I was in. I started banging on the sides. I started kicking at what seemed to be the roof. Amidst all the banging, I could hear faint scuffling noises coming from outside my enclosed area. I stopped my noise making and strained to hear the mumbles that were drawing closer.

The mumbles stopped, and my container lurched to the side. The ceiling was thrown open, and a bright light flooded my vision. I lifted my hands to my face in vain to reduce the light coming at me.

Finally, my eyes adjusted and I could make out the skeletal structure of my hands. Literally, I could see the bones. My thoughts froze to one word. "What?" I moved my hands, marveling at how the tiny little bones in my hands were held together by nothing, and yet they never fell off.

"Finally. You have awoken. Rise, skeleton number... um... where was that list? Ah! Here it is. Let's see. Hmm.... Ah yes. You are skeleton number 504,032." a voice from the side spoke. I lifted my head to see a figure, face obscured by a very droopy hood attached to a flowing robe.

"You have the honor of attending his glorious majesty Emperor Nico's Necromancer division. As a skeleton, you will be tasked to defend the Necromancer division from aggressors." I lifted my feet up and over the rim of the box I was in. I stood up, not quite coming up to the mysterious man's height.

"Go down the hall and to the left. Armory is down there, along with other skeletons." I stared at the man, or woman; I couldn't tell. "Well? Go! I don't have all day!" The person turned, and promptly dismissed me from his mind. As I walked off, I could hear him pull out another box, open the lid, and start spewing out the same speech that he told me.

"What a very inefficient system," I thought. Then, "Why am I a skeleton?"