A Stand Against My Enemy

I am a firm believer that one should write about whatever one feels about writing.  Otherwise, the writing will not seem genuine.  I am not feeling in a very insightful mood today.  Instead I feel like I am in the mood to rant about something that isn’t worth your time.  So that’s exactly what I shall to.

            Boy do I hate cupcakes.  I hate it when someone is celebrating their birthday, and to “celebrate”, they hand out a delectable treat that everyone enjoys but me.  Everybody else shoves the giant glob of sugar down their throat while I sit watching in agony.  Why don’t I like cupcakes?  Unfortunately, the frosting makes me want to vomit.  So I would appreciate it if you all could do me a favor and not have any more birthdays, so there are no more cupcakes.

            At this point, anybody who is actually bored enough to still be reading this is surely thinking that this is as bad as it gets, but I assure you, it isn’t.  I don’t like regular cake either.  Chocolate cake, Vanilla Cake, Carrot Cake, and a bunch of other types of cake that I can’t think of are all disgusting.  Whoever invented cake should be locked in a room with nothing to eat but cake for the next five years.  Eventually, even he will become tired of cake, and that way, I won’t be alone in my struggle against this delectable villain.

            But I suppose it isn’t all bad.  I do love ice cream cake, and no matter how much of it I eat, I never become fat.  I could spend hours shoving it down my throat, and afterwards, I would still want more.  Daniel Wilson without ice cream cake is like our government being productive; It simply can’t happen if the world is to stay in balance.