Zen in the Art of Archer

Tomorrow I am dressing up for Halloween. I am dressing up as Sterling Archer. Who is Sterling Archer?

Also this guy.

...that awkward moment when I own the same polo that he's wearing... maybe I should dress up as him instead.

Believe it or not, it took me some time to decide my costume. I wanted to be someone from a TV show, because it's recognizable enough but also representative of my personality. My thoughts strayed to some more recognizable people initially, but a bright orange Hazmat suit and crystal meth are kind of hard to find on such short notice. So I decided on Archer.

It's actually a logical choice. He's a spy, and I grew up watching James Bond marathons with my dad on Christmas. He's well-dressed, kind of an asshole. He lives in a penthouse and shits on the Help. Also, a black turtleneck, black dress-pants and black boots are easy to come by on short notice.

But there are a lot of dilemmas to this costume choice as well. Namely, that it consists of a black turtleneck, black dress-pants and black boots. And that FX is one of the least watched channels on television (albeit one of the funniest). And that Archer is one of the least watched shows on FX. And that I wore a black sweater today, so I predict that a good 10% of the people I talk to tomorrow will say "didn't you wear that exact same thing yesterday?" and another 20% will be thinking it. There will be a few who think I'm a ninja, and maybe someone who gets that I'm a spy, and then there will be some people who are so oblivious that they'll think it's what I wear every day. Oh yeah, and since it's all black, maybe I've got some class spirit going.

But for those of you who actually read this blog (which I'm not under any illusion is a large percentage of you), I'm Sterling Archer. And it's going to be awesome.

It's amazing how mentally challenging the game of golf is. Whenever I watch the pros play in big stage tournaments I don't understand how they keep their composure the way they do.  If I was up at the tee in one of those things, I would probably shake in fear until I fell to the ground. However, being nervous has never been my issue in playing golf, it's more controlling my temper.  Whether it's throwing clubs in the air or swearing uncontrollably, the frustrations of golf sometimes take over me and turn me into someone else. The worst is missing a short put for par and then having to settle for a bogey. Another bad one is taking three puts to get the ball in the hole.  When I look back on some of my adventures with golf, I think of snapping my sand wedge in half over my knee and then my two friends responding with bursts of laughter. I started laughing too which made me conclude the best way to assuage my temper was to break a club. Obviously I couldn't do this every time because that would be really expensive, so I would have to come up with other techniques. I still haven't found these techniques but I've gotten much better.
I believe golf can be the best and absolute worst game to play. When I'm playing well it gives me the best feeling and It's really fun, which is why I play the game.

Hurricane Sandy

This past week, the East Coast of the United States was plagued by hurricane by the name of Sandy. As it moved closer and closer to the Upper Valley, everyone started worrying that it would be Hurricane Irene all over again. Now, normally I would be one of those who was fearing the worst, however, I guess I didn't have the energy to worry this time. So after school yesterday, Monday, I came home after to school to find out that I had no power. There had hardly been any wind, no rain, and there were no trees down to my knowledge, so I was completely baffled as to why I had no power. But that wasn't the entire problem. The problem was that I had no idea what to do with myself. From 3:30 pm to 4 pm, I actually just stared at a wall in my room. I was so lost due to the lack of power. I had nothing to do because nothing worked in my house. I wound up doing almost all my homework at home for the first time all year and then I ended up reading by flashlight for three hours. All in all, this "hurricane" was a real pain for me, even though I never gave it much thought

Fantasy football woes. PT 2

My Fantasy Football woes part 2:

Since my last update things have gone from bad to worse. My team has a second to last record of 2-5-1. Yes thats right a tie. The worst possible outcome of any sporting event on the face of the planet. It happened last week while I was playing my brothers team, who by the way is in last place. Any ways, I went into the match up feeling very confident. My projections were good, and i was coming off a rare win from the previous week. However, the fantasy football gods decided to plague my team with injuries yet again. Maurice Jones-Drew injured his foot without getting me a single point. To make matters worse he will be out for at least four weeks.So MJD gave me nice old goose egg, while my kicker and tight end combined for 1 point. This means that three out of my nine starters, exactly one third of my team scored a total of one point. Anyways, Andrew Luck decides to fumble at the end of his game (-2 points) and thats the difference between my team becoming a .500 team, or tying the worst team (my brothers team).
 This brings us to the most recent week. Anther sub par performance from my team was at hand. MJD was out along with my star wide receiver Jordy Nelson who had been smoking hot in the past three weeks.So two of my best players were out and so my chances were already slim. Yet again the fantasy football gods mocked me by allowing my opponents player Doug Martin to score 35 points! Doug who? Yeah he's a rookie down in Tampa Bay. A respectable rookie, but a rookie non the less. He could have scored a touch down , maybe even rushed for over a hundred yards, but no, he had to get over 200 all purpose yards and two touchdowns. Its just ridiculous. 

Things on the Team that just Chap, Vol. 2

We just played our final game on Hanover's home turf, for some of us the last in our high school careers. It was the quarterfinal round of the D1 New Hampshire Playoffs, and we were fortunate that our opponent on that day would be a weaker one than we expected- Pinkerton was upset by Merrimack, which was a huge surprise to everyone. We were excited by this because Pinkerton would have been a much stronger opponent, but we were all grateful to get out of there with the win against even a much weaker team, especially following last year's streak-breaking loss in the quarterfinals. The final score was 5-0, and we had the right to be proud, but the memory of my final game on the beloved turf field will always have an asterisk, forcing me to remember that we it was just another day in the park instead of an intense, blood-pumping playoff game I would have hoped for. Oh well. A win is a win. Perhaps we would have lost to Pinkerton had we played them, and then I wouldn't even want to remember the game. Again, Oh well. Time to look ahead to Thursday, for our semifinal game against a Londonderry team that beat us 3-0 in our last meeting. Now that's going to be a game to remember.

The Hyannis Sound

Soarthroats is drawing closer to its first concert, and a capella has been on my mind a lot lately. Whenever I look for inspiration among a capella groups, I always end up back at The Hyannis Sound. They are hands-down the best singing group I have ever heard. The Hyannis sound is made up of about 20 college males from all across the country who spend their summer living in a huge house on outer Cape Cod, learning a vast repertoire of music.

The most impressive aspect of the Hyannis Sound is the quality of the singers. Every year they pull together a crew of singers that could easily be professional, and some of them are. The combinations of all these amazing voices is striking to say the least; their blending and accuracy in unparalleled. You may have heard Marc Whittington when he was at Hanover High -- he didn't even make the group on his first audition. The better you know him, the more shocking this will be to you. It took him a second try to make it. This alone speaks to the high standards they maintain as a group.

Another reason Hyannis Sound is at the top of my list is their arrangements. I speak from experience when I say that taking a song and reducing it into a small number of voice parts is not easy. However, you wouldn't know it listening to them -- they seamlessly blend complex sections into an overall sound that stays true to the original song while making it their own.

While listening to the Hyannis Sound, it is easy to forget that you're not hearing any instruments. I highly recommend giving them a listen -- and at the least, come see them when they visit Lyme in April.

A Stand Against My Enemy

I am a firm believer that one should write about whatever one feels about writing.  Otherwise, the writing will not seem genuine.  I am not feeling in a very insightful mood today.  Instead I feel like I am in the mood to rant about something that isn’t worth your time.  So that’s exactly what I shall to.

            Boy do I hate cupcakes.  I hate it when someone is celebrating their birthday, and to “celebrate”, they hand out a delectable treat that everyone enjoys but me.  Everybody else shoves the giant glob of sugar down their throat while I sit watching in agony.  Why don’t I like cupcakes?  Unfortunately, the frosting makes me want to vomit.  So I would appreciate it if you all could do me a favor and not have any more birthdays, so there are no more cupcakes.

            At this point, anybody who is actually bored enough to still be reading this is surely thinking that this is as bad as it gets, but I assure you, it isn’t.  I don’t like regular cake either.  Chocolate cake, Vanilla Cake, Carrot Cake, and a bunch of other types of cake that I can’t think of are all disgusting.  Whoever invented cake should be locked in a room with nothing to eat but cake for the next five years.  Eventually, even he will become tired of cake, and that way, I won’t be alone in my struggle against this delectable villain.

            But I suppose it isn’t all bad.  I do love ice cream cake, and no matter how much of it I eat, I never become fat.  I could spend hours shoving it down my throat, and afterwards, I would still want more.  Daniel Wilson without ice cream cake is like our government being productive; It simply can’t happen if the world is to stay in balance.

Crocheting

When it begins to get cold in New Hampshire, I start crocheting again. Twirling strings of heavy yarn around a hook and through my fingers only appeals to me when the leaves are in the midst of changing from green to brown, and the temperature in the morning is in the forties. In the same way that birds know when to start flying south, I know when to take a trip to Joann’s (or to the bottom of my closet) to find a new skein of yarn. Soft is always best, but sometimes, I just crave the largest amount of yarn for the cheapest price for the projects I haven’t thought of yet.

            I prefer crocheting to knitting these days. There’s something pleasing about needing only two objects to create something with surface area and actual usefulness. A small crochet hook and a ball of yarn can become something wearable or usable with a little knowledge and skill. Some YouTube tutorials and a few frustrating minutes wasted looking at patterns (only to decide to never try to follow a pattern again) are all I ever needed to become obsessed with hooking yarn together in never-ending sequences.

Making a long, thick scarf out of a ball of yarn just a half a foot in diameter is like watching someone form a tall pot out of a ball of clay. The surface area of a project, knitted or crocheted, never seems proportional to the amount of yarn it started out as – this is part of what makes the product so exciting. Sometimes, crocheting becomes more about the process than the outcome. That small skein of yarn equals hundreds of repititions of the same pattern over and over again, and in the end, I have a simple circle scarf to show for it.

Crocheting is a repetitive process, and that’s part of why I love it. In the beginning, I rewatch ten crucial seconds of a tutorial at least five times just to figure out which stitch to crochet into next. Once I’ve figured out the pattern, I can do it in my sleep. By this time, my hands move so fast that I don’t even think about what I’m doing. I push the hook through a an opening in the pattern that has somehow become distinguishable to me, wrap my yarn around it, cast off a stitch, wrap my yarn around it, cast off another stitch, wrap my yarn around it, cast off two stitches, then crochet one chain stitch – then, I do all of this five-hundred more times.

Martin's post

Martin notes:
My Fantasy Football Woes



            I don’t even know where to start. I am coming of a miserable season, which involved countless injuries, vast misfortune, and intolerable mocking. I am talking about my fantasy football team from last year. I came in last place, and was humiliated by everyone in my league.

            Five weeks ago was a fresh start. A new beginning, where I could put last years misery behind me and focus on the present season. I was determined to assemble a strong team this year and be respected. I drafted a solid tem and my chances looked promising. The first week arrived, and the trouble started. My quarterback Matthew Stafford, who last year threw for over 5,000 yards, with the best wide receiver in the league to throw to, (Calvin Johnson) decided to bless the St. Luis Rams defense with three juicy interceptions. I mean come on, the St Luis Rams… they won two games last year. So of course, this miserable excuse for a game provided my team with crappy amount of points in a week one loss.

            I will fast forward to this past week, the fifth game of the season. I was coming in with a record of one win and three loses, and this match was crucial. I needed a win to keep my playoff hopes alive. Addison LaRock managed the team I was playing. It was mediocre team, and I strongly believed that if my team played up to standards that it would win. Addison’s Team started out slowly, and only ended with a total of 70 points. All I needed was for Maurice Jones-Drew, a stellar running back who in the past three seasons rushed for well over a thousand yards, to have a decent game. However, yet again I was plagued with misfortune, with a disgustingly meager 56-yard day on twelve carries. Now MJD is easily the best offensive player of his team, it’s not even up for debate, so why would they only give him the ball twelve times? I just don’ t understand. I lost the game, and probably the season as well. I don’t need a miracle; I just need my players to not suck.

Mitt Romney Style

Since the election is coming up, I wanted to share a quick video of Mitt Romney. I think the majority of you will enjoy this.  Be advised: some language is profane.  Viewer discretion is advised.

-Jay Pike

Gorilla Warfare Tactics - Premier

New music is off the table for the time being, since I don't have the internet to download anything nor the money to buy it. However, just because it's not new doesn't mean you've heard it before. I last posted with regard to a new folk/experimental album, so it's time for a monstrous shift in genre.

If you're new to the world of underground hip hop, the term "underground" basically means that said group has not been signed by a prominent record label, so their music is much harder to find and doesn't get played on the radio. But that doesn't mean they are inferior – groups choose to stay independent for a number of reasons, including maintaining control over their own music. Occasionally a group will make its way onto a popular music blog or forum and make a name for itself. Some underground groups have even made their way onto the charts. My focus today is a group that has only released one album, but that album has made a big splash in the hip hop world.

Gorilla Warfare Tactics are a classic hip hop group, made up of two rappers and a producer. Their lyricism is simply unmatched by almost anyone in the rap game – the lead rapper, Dilla, has story-telling abilities that could be compared to those of Bob Dylan. The producing is smooth, with jazz and blues samples that don't feel even a little bit out of place. The three of them work together seamlessly to produce quality hip hop that is sophisticated, deep, and easy to listen to.

Premier is the only full mixtape they have released so far (to my knowledge), and I would strongly suggest downloading it as soon as you can. Every song stands alone, but highlights include The Tale of Mr. Street, RewindRhyme, and Temptations. If "sex, drugs, and money" rap has repelled you from hip hop, give this a shot. It may restore your faith in the genre.

Murph opines:

Fall

    As the leaves change into their magnificent shades our world changes in many different ways. Not only can we notice that nature transform into a magnificent wonderland, we also see that this phenomenon apparently doesn’t happen anywhere out of New hampshire, Vermont, and Maine. Although this is hard to imagine, you can see the evidence all around you. People flock to this region from New York and Massachusetts like money is falling off the trees, clogging the arteries of our serine country roads. In no way is this nature change not a magnificent spectacle, yet these people shouldn’t be rushing up here just to look at a few leaves. Grant it one may say that my mindset is absurd, and that this amazing natural occurrence should be seen by all. So in that case I will pose a question; Don’t you have leaves in New York? So, in saying that, I encourage you to all go out this fall and see how many people there are, from other states, driving around looking at trees.
Joe Murphy
    

Things on the team that just chap the hide, Vol I

I'll start with the warm up, because this is where each practice or game begins. The usual talk during dynamic stretching consists of 100% fantasy football smack talk. I used to be vehemently opposed the topic during soccer practice, as I believed it could detract from our team's focus on the tasks at hand. Now however, after taking the West Division by storm behind the strong performances of Tom Brady and Steven Ridley, I gotta be honest: fantasy football gets me pumped. After my shocking victory over the powerful Liam Gantrish, my timidness went into the phonebooth and my super confidence burst out with a red cape on. Anyway, I love fantasy football nowadays, and my 3-2 record after a magical autodraft is icing on the cake.

The Failures are Among the Most Successful

            I felt proud of myself at the end of the first round of writing circles, because I had already completed my free reading book (not to rub it in anybody’s face).  The book I read was a biography of Abraham Lincoln, which I thought was moderately entertaining.  What particularly caught my attention was that while I never would have expected it in a biography, I believe that the biography had a strong moral at the center of it, which was that people who fail can often go on to be successful.

            You don’t have to be very observant to realize that Abraham Lincoln had an aptitude for failing.  In a small war known as the Blackhawk War, Lincoln entered the war as a captain, and returned a private- not particularly impressive for someone who would one day lead the Union in the Civil War as president of the United States.  During the Civil War, Lincoln was almost responsible for turning the Union against itself on multiple occasions.  But Lincoln didn’t stop failing there.  Lincoln failed twice in business, and as a result, he was left in a large debt.  And just when you thought Lincoln had run out of ways to fail, Lincoln managed to loose a total of eight political elections throughout his political career.  And yet, this man successfully maintained our country and is remembered as a great American hero.

            I was eager to see if Lincoln was alone, so I preformed some follow up research on other people who failed but were then successful.  I found myself faced with an overwhelming list of successful failures, but here are a few of my favorites.

There was a young man who tried out for basketball as a freshmen as Emsley A. Laney high school.  His coach was unimpressed with his talent, so as a freshman and sophomore, he played for junior varsity.  That man, Michael Jordan, went on to become one of the best (or the best) basketball player ever.

A young student was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything, but this student was not so easily to be swayed.  Today, Thomas Edison is well known for his inventions.

There was a man who very badly wanted to be an actor.  Unfortunately, he received insignificant roles in movies, which is why he became a self-taught carpenter.  But his life changed when he went to build cabinets for George Lucas.  Lucas eventually realized that his carpenter was born for the television screen, which is why we have the pleasure of seeing Harrison Ford in so many great movies.

            I believe that these failures are successful for two reasons.  First of all, people aren’t very good at analyzing who is talented; People get overlooked for various reasons.  Second, these failures only motivate these people to prove expose their critics for their ignorance.

The Outdoors

    I have always loved challenging myself.  The struggles I go through make the feeling so much better when I reach my goal.  Hiking stands out as one of my favorite activities because of its challenge.  There are some hikes I like more than others, but there is one that is truly my favorite.  There was nothing like climbing part of Mont Blanc, one of Europe's tallest peaks.  The trail was extremely steep almost the whole way and my legs started to burn after about 15 minutes in.  I loved when my ears started to pop because I knew that I had made a lot of progress at this point.  When I made it to the point where my hike ended, there was a large flat area with a restaurant and an amazing view of the Alps.  I was above the tree line and the wind was howling.  It was the middle of the summer but there were still a few patches of snow.  I looked up to the top of the mountain that towered above me and it was fully coated in tons of snow.  I was right on plane with a massive glacier which was breathtaking. I luckily got to enjoy this view while I ate my lunch out on the porch of the restaurant.  I couldn't get over how cool the Alps looked and how dramatic they were.  These made the white mountains of New Hampshire look like minuscule rolling hills.
    I guess its more than just hiking.  I just love the outdoors and the feeling of freedom it gives me.  I was surrounded by such a vast and dramatic landscape which what I really loved.  These things are what relaxes me and there is nothing better than having nothing to worry about.

Assigned reading

When I was younger, I loved to read. I would read almost any book put in front of me no matter what. I  read the entire Hardy Boys series, all the Harry Potter books, the Percy Jackson series, I would read all the time. However, when I hit ninth grade and learned of a little site known to many as Sparknotes, my reading career basically came to screeching halt. I now won't read a book that is assigned by a teacher. At this exact moment, I am actually putting off reading both my independent book and the Telling Writing book to write this blog. It isn't that I don't like reading anymore or that I find the reading challenging, I just don't like being told to read something. If I see a book that looks interesting, I will pick it up and read, I enjoy doing that. But if you give me any school related book there is less than a ten percent chance I read that book. A lot of the time I can look it up on Sparknotes and I will be fine, sometimes that isn't the case, unfortunately both my independent book and Telling Writing aren't on Sparknotes so I will read them. Will I enjoy it, most likely not, but it has to be done so I will power through.

Tommy & Cas's Fashion Commentary

Philosophy

Mr. Hackman liked to talk about oak trees almost every time he tried to explain a new philosopher to the five or so of us that were actually listening. His desk in the front of the room (cluttered with a stack of neat manila folders, a candle, his extra large Dunkin Donuts cup, and a light-up children’s toy) faced the window at the other end of the room, which he would look out while explaining oak trees. He told us that the branches on oak trees grow staggered rather than in a symmetrical patter, a fact I have since not been able to stop thinking about. He used oak trees as an example in the Allegory of the Cave, and he drew them on the board and gazed across the room and out the window behind our heads as he sat in his chair, teaching. To have someone spend fifty minutes for four days a week solely talking to you about various philosophers doesn’t sound appealing to most people, but Mr. Hackman made it appealing. The class laughed with him when he drew faces on the board that resembled Easter Island statues, and we all listened eagerly when he told us about his morning routine and his early life as a lover of math.

The textbook was rarely used in or outside of class, and even so, from what we did read I could gather that it was not an ordinary textbook. Its cartoons and a playful font reflected Mr. Hackman’s cheery attitude – but it wasn’t so much that he was cheery and happy to teach philosophy as it was his general attitude towards life. He found himself humorous and at the same time was one of the most selfless people I’ve met. He handed out tests with a “bon chance” and said goodbye at the end of the period with an "hasta la vista". The décor in his room changed by the day, but his jalapeño lights that surrounded the white board never moved. On one occasion, he asked a student to hang his disco ball from the ceiling and turned off the lights to make sure it worked.

Most of the students surrounding me were seniors, and it was spring and the sun was finally out after four months, so they had little to no motivation to do anything but sit and listen. I did the same, lost in the crowd, but I left Mr. Hackman’s room for the last time after turning in my final essay on Walden with a newfound respect for the teacher and the class. I had spent six months learning the names and identities of Plato, Socrates, Thales, and more. I had taken tests and written essays, and out of the unique experience grew my appreciation for Mr. Hackman and all that he has taught me.