NBA, get ready!

So I think that with the approach of the NBA season, it's time someone did a pre-season analysis of the best and worst teams in the league. So here we go (Sportscenter style):

THREE CHEERS (top 3):

1) Miami Heat. Kobe is good and the Celtics are trying to put together a "big five," but with the shooting and strength of LeBron and D-Wade, the rebounding skills and height of Ilgauskas and Bosh, and House, an ex-Celtic point guard who's got an unnatural shooting touch, the Heat are untouchable.

2) LA Lakers. Sure, the Celtics have won more championships. Yes, they have KG, Pierce, Allen, Rondo, and Shaq. But if Bynum comes out strong with Pau Gasol and Kobe does what he does, then the Lakers can prove that beating the Celtics in the Finals last year wasn't a fluke.

3) Boston Celtics. They've been hyped up. For good reason. Allen and Pierce, while old, have still got some left in them. KG is a ridiculously good shooter for someone of his height. Rondo came out like a man on fire at the end of last season and looks to stay on that path. And then there's Shaq. The Big Shamrock. The Celtics should be a good fit for him; compared to other teams, they play more at his pace. They should be contenders for another year or two. But once they lose their starters, they may drop to bottom five.

THREE TEARS (what happened?):

1) Cleveland Cavaliers. They were good. Were being the operative word. Without James and Ilgauskas...they don't really stand much of a chance. Somehow Antawn Jamison and Mo Williams must be keeping them alive in the preseason, but come the season opener, I feel that ESPN's ranking is right - bottom five. Too bad. Maybe LeBron can win one in Miami.

2) Houston Rockets. They had a chance. Then Tracy McGrady moved to New York (then Detroit) and Yao broke his foot. Then they didn't have a chance. That pretty much sums it up.

3) Charlotte Bobcats. After being swept while posting a surprisingly strong performance against the Magic in the first round, the Bobcats seem to have lost all heart. They're winless in the preseason, and with their biggest names being Kwame Brown and Javaris Crittenton, they can't expect to do well in the postseason. Or even make it to the postseason.

THREE JEERS (bottom three):

28) Indiana Pacers. They're bad, and their 1-3 preseason shows it, with their only win being over #29. They have a decently strong player at every position except center, so they should be able to avoid being dead last at the end of the season. Sadly, they only have one decently strong player at each position, and that's not enough to keep them out of the bottom five.

29) Minnesota Timberwolves: Kevin Love made a full-court shot back in college. One end line to the other. This team's going to need some more of that luck; even though they have a player on Team USA and an all-star, the rest are bad enough that those two are only enough to keep them off the bottom of the heap. I refuse to believe a 3-1 start to the preseason is an indication of what is to come.

30) Sacramento Kings. The only names they really have are Tyreke Evans and Marcus Landry. And they've both had one year of pro experience. Not really enough to compete with the likes of LeBron. Perhaps a franchise name change is in order? It doesn't seem like a name befitting the worst of the worst.