Chrismahanukwanzakkuh: The Holiday of Holidays (for the stores)

I walked into Dunkin' Donuts this morning to buy the same thing I always get: A #1 meal, with a large hot cocoa and two Sprinkles donuts, coated in sprinkles with every color of the rainbow. Instead, I received two Sprinkles donuts coated in sprinkles with two colors of the rainbow: red and green. I don't mind either color, in fact, red is usually my favorite color. It was the circumstance that pissed me off.

A few minutes later, I turned on the radio, and was greeted by "and a Happy Holidays to you," at the end of and ad. I turned my hot cocoa mug in my hand, and realized that under the classic "America Runs On Dunkin'," there was another well known phrase, that apparently no company has a copyright on: "Happy Holidays." I almost threw my cocoa away right then.

I am not Ebenezer Scrooge. I do enjoy Christmas. I enjoy Thanksgiving. I may not celebrate Hanukkah, but I have nothing against those who do. What really makes me angry is the commercialization of “The Holidays.” They are called HOLIdays because they are supposed to be holy. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and some of the newer ones, Chrismukkah, or Chrismahanukwanzakkuh, are not meant to be commercial hay days. If the commercial industry wants an excuse to have big sales on everything in stock, which sometimes aren’t even sales, just mark downs on prices after they’ve been marked up, then the industry can have mallidays. Just as the holidays are graciously scattered throughout the year, so can these days be. What I dislike is over a month straight of too much red and green, too much money being spent, even when people think they are saving, too much commercial holiday. The holidays are meant to be a time for family and friends, not to be taken advantage of.

I am quite outspoken about this. I even posted a rather inappropriate post on Facebook (http://hs.facebook.com/event.php?eid=6241268450 for those of you brave enough to face my wrath), ranting about extraneous Christian traditions, many of which are not even Christian, just stolen from pagan religions. A few hours later, a religious teenager from South Carolina messaged me, asking me to describe my anger, so that we could discuss it. I basically told her what I’ve written up above. She came back with a decent argument, that went something like this: “I agree completely, the holiday is way over-publicized. However, this publicity could be God’s way of converting more people. If a non-believer receives, say, a new iPod for Christmas, maybe she will think about why Christmas happens, and start going to church.”

I can accept that as a possible rebuttal. Speaking as a non-believing Christian (figure that one out), it is not the commercial industry’s job to convert people to religion. And also, many people are introduced to religion, like myself, and then choose not to believe, because of many reasons. And if we have chosen not to believe, a new iPod has very little chance of making us believe again, especially as we get old enough to understand that Christmas gifts are no miracle, just our parents being really nice to us.

I think that the commercial industry should back off on Christmas. I have no problem with them making a few sales around the right time, and even hanging some “Happy Holidays” signs up a few days before Christmas. But taking advantage of customers for a full month in advance, and reminding us the holidays are coming so many times that by the time they do arrive, we’re already sick of them, that I have a problem with. Of course, as annoyed as I am at the big stores, and some of the little ones, I also see myself as a bit of a hypocrite. The only reason I add “Christian” onto non-believing is to take advantage of the plentiful holidays.

MERRY CHRISMAHANUKWANZAKKUH, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!