Let It Snow Or Else

Okay, where the hell is all the snow? We just had three straight days of rain. It is now December 11. This is New Hampshire, for God's sake! We should have at least a few inches by now.

The rant above is one with which I am very familiar, because I have made it every December of every year of my life. However, this year I'm really starting to worry. We've had our cold spells and we've had our precipitation, they just haven't lined up. Maybe we missed our chance for a big snow! NOAA predictions are coming up empty as far as snow accumulation in the near future. All I can say is that if this winter is as bad as the last one, I quit. You may wonder: "what does Simon mean when he says 'I quit'"? What I mean is that I will give up hoping for good skiing, sledding, skating, and snowshoeing and start accepting that winter is becoming by far the most boring season.

I remember the good old days of blizzards leaving snow up to my eyes. Perhaps that's because I used to be two feet tall and now that only comes up to my shins, but I definitely remember waking up to the world blanketed in snow. Last year, I only recall a couple times that it got more than a few inches high, and even then it didn't last long. There was maybe one day of decent powder at Dartmouth, and I had to get up at something like five in the morning to get to it. I'm wondering if it's even worth getting my season pass this year.

So, New Hampshire, here is my ultimatum: give us mountains of snow this year or I am moving to Canada. Now, you're probably thinking: "Simon's bluffing. He would never actually move to Canada." And you're absolutely correct. But every year it becomes a more appealing possibility.

Will you shut up? Please!

From time to time, a few of my fellow “Lymies” ask me if my mind is still filled with the same obsession I had in elementary school.  The answer is an annoyed, “No.”  I am no longer obsessed with skunks.

            That said, I still face the same annoying questions about my once obsession that I have faced for the past ten years  “How did you become interested in skunks?”  and “Why are they your favorite animal?”  Not to mention any names, but one of my fellow Lymies felt the need to question my skunk obsession yesterday, so I will answer everybody’s questions once and for all.

No, I am no longer obsessed.  Are they my favorite animal?  I suppose so, but I’m NOT obsessed anymore.

I became interested in skunks when I received a stuffed animal skunk from a friend when I lived in Maryland.

No, I don’t want a pet skunk.  They make terrible pets.

No, I don’t like their smell (believe it or not, people actually ask me this question).

No, I do not wish I was a skunk (yep, people have asked me this too).

No, I have never been sprayed by a skunk.

No, my dog has never been sprayed either.

No, I do no enjoy answering these questions.

Zombies?

Okay so I really just want to write about zombies and how people would respond to an apocalypse.

In my eyes, this is probably the most likely occurrence for an "End of the world scenario". I will just start by giving a little bit of background over my appreciation of zombies. 

1) I watch the walking dead, so I assume that means I can survive any type of zombie that comes at me be it a fat zombie, or a female zombie with no legs

2) I have watched 28 days and 28 weeks later which are pretty much the best zombies ever made as is

3) I'm not a dumb ass and would do what's right in case of a zombie apocalypse

Honestly the most frustrating thing for me in these shows and movies is that the people refuse to kill the person who has been bitten EVEN THOUGH they know that their friend/loved one/baby etc. will eventually turn into a flesh eating monster. How does that make any sense? Obviously you don't want to say goodbye to your loved ones, but it is going to happen under normal circumstances and so realistically they should just kill them in order to save pain from themselves and everyone around them.

My survival plan: The zombie apocalypse is upon us! Everyone is panicking and saying how much they hate life; I don't panic, I sack up and go buy as many weapons and supplies as possible. The more ammunition and supplies you get, the better prepared you will be. Also, in colloboration with this, you will actually potentially have a little bit of fun before your life comes to an awful ending.

My 2nd step would be to find a person who would be willing to take me out on a boat, and I would ship out and drop anchor a little bit offshore and enjoy the ocean breeze and have some nice drinks will on the main land people are panicking. I would use this vantage point to kill off as many zombies as I could, and attempt to save as many lives as possible.

My 3rd step, okay so the world is overrun by zombies, everyone is dead and I'm on a boat. Okay... will I guess it's time now to go onto land and scavenge for supplies and attempt to save people... and you know, in process just dominate as many zombies as possible. 

Essentially, my plan proceeds and it includes trying to help as many people as possible, not being a donkey, and surviving. 

If you guys want to help me out and want to survive, you probably should join me. Going to hold up in a walmart at some point because it has everything.

The Holidays

As soon as Halloween is over, there is already talk about the holidays. On November 1st I started seeing different commercials about Christmas decorations and gifts. This time of the year is always the most memorable to me. I don't know if its a coincidence but there always seems to be something exciting that happens to me during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. It feels like the time in between is so short and it's all a blur to me.
There are many great things about the holidays. First of all, I get a break from school and have time to spend with family and friends. Most importantly, especially for Thanksgiving, the food is plentiful and delicious. I love Christmas for the all the gifts and by this time winter is in full swing which means skiing. I always think about skiing when I have memories of Christmas and New Years. This time of year is amazing and I try to appreciate fully by getting outside and doing activities that I can only do on snow. After a long day of skiing I can just come home and relax enjoying a new gift I got or eaten all the leftover food. Truly the Holidays are a fun time

You know you're a Senior when...

Becoming a senior is an ongoing process. First, you have to complete your junior year and survive the summer. Then you are classified as a "Senior" when you step in to the doors of school on the first day back. Though one can don the title of "Senior" right away, it takes a while to get accustomed to the role. If you were ever wondering if you're getting closer to becoming a real Senior and having an actual case of the legendary Senioritis, here are some tell-tale signs:

-->Homework: this word no longer has significance to you
-or, if you still do care about homework, you probably are really behind, but not really feeling like there'll be consequences for it. (or you just don't care)
-you applied early decision to your favorite school, and can't imagine getting rejected, so there's really no need to do more work. after all, how could a strapping young hanover lad or lass like yourself ever get rejected from Harvard?
•In extreme cases of "future-rejection-paranoia," 12th graders may do even more homework than they are assigned, out of fear that their college will reject them later in the year.

-->Weekends= you think you're going to be completely caught up by monday, but you actually do maybe half an hour of math when you're nine assignments behind, but you still consider it great progress

-->You set up a tent in the Pit because there's really no need to leave, it's not like you have class.

-->You ask sophomores to make Coop runs for you because you have to get one more footstall behind the Pit playing hackeysack before 4th period

More to come!

I Watch Better Television Than You

I often blow off homework for the sake of watching television. But, that's okay, because I watch good television. There is clearly a divide between this:

and this:

That's stating the obvious though. Mad Men is the definition of sophistication, and one look at me, it's obvious that I watch it. But Mad Men is also a dark show, and one could argue that the reason to watch a show like The Hills, which I, of course, have NEVER watched, is to get something light-hearted in, to lighten your moods. Why only watch sophisticated television if its never funny?

Well, it can be.

VS

I'll be honest, the point if this blogpost is equal parts me bragging about my sophistication, me shitting on peoples general lack of sophistication, and the fact that I need to justify the fact that tonight, instead of working on Physics, Prob/Stat, and, yes, this paper that I'm supposed to be editing, I will probably just be watching The League and Hell on Wheels. But its not detracting from my education. It's just making me more... sophisticated.

Telling Writing: A Study In How Not To Write A Book

I was going to write about music but that takes way too long and I am in a ranting mood. My topic of choice today will be Ken Macrorie, author of Telling Writing. Let me preface this by saying that I think this book is a worthwhile read for our APW class; my frustrations lies not with the content, but the delivery.

The vast majority of this book is spent on fake passages written by the author, who is deviously pretending he didn't write them. After each passage, he either tears the passage apart or lauds its literary merit. I wouldn't mind this so much if it weren't so blatantly obvious that he writes everything himself. To prove this point, I opened up to a random page of the book (page 76) and sure enough, here, in all its glory, is a page-long passage that is supposedly written by a member of a writing class. Let me give you a sample of this passage:

"Now don't forget: I want you home by midnight," my father barked.
"Have a good time, but be good," my mother chirped.

Apparently, Mr. Macrorie has never actually read anyone else's writing before because nobody actually writes like that. It wouldn't bother me so much if he would just admit his passages were hypothetical. But no, every single one of them is prefaced by "here is a passage written by a high school girl" or "a woman used the following dialogue in her journal entry." Oh Ken, you are so sneaky.