Zen in the Art of Archer

Tomorrow I am dressing up for Halloween. I am dressing up as Sterling Archer. Who is Sterling Archer?

Also this guy.

...that awkward moment when I own the same polo that he's wearing... maybe I should dress up as him instead.

Believe it or not, it took me some time to decide my costume. I wanted to be someone from a TV show, because it's recognizable enough but also representative of my personality. My thoughts strayed to some more recognizable people initially, but a bright orange Hazmat suit and crystal meth are kind of hard to find on such short notice. So I decided on Archer.

It's actually a logical choice. He's a spy, and I grew up watching James Bond marathons with my dad on Christmas. He's well-dressed, kind of an asshole. He lives in a penthouse and shits on the Help. Also, a black turtleneck, black dress-pants and black boots are easy to come by on short notice.

But there are a lot of dilemmas to this costume choice as well. Namely, that it consists of a black turtleneck, black dress-pants and black boots. And that FX is one of the least watched channels on television (albeit one of the funniest). And that Archer is one of the least watched shows on FX. And that I wore a black sweater today, so I predict that a good 10% of the people I talk to tomorrow will say "didn't you wear that exact same thing yesterday?" and another 20% will be thinking it. There will be a few who think I'm a ninja, and maybe someone who gets that I'm a spy, and then there will be some people who are so oblivious that they'll think it's what I wear every day. Oh yeah, and since it's all black, maybe I've got some class spirit going.

But for those of you who actually read this blog (which I'm not under any illusion is a large percentage of you), I'm Sterling Archer. And it's going to be awesome.

It's amazing how mentally challenging the game of golf is. Whenever I watch the pros play in big stage tournaments I don't understand how they keep their composure the way they do.  If I was up at the tee in one of those things, I would probably shake in fear until I fell to the ground. However, being nervous has never been my issue in playing golf, it's more controlling my temper.  Whether it's throwing clubs in the air or swearing uncontrollably, the frustrations of golf sometimes take over me and turn me into someone else. The worst is missing a short put for par and then having to settle for a bogey. Another bad one is taking three puts to get the ball in the hole.  When I look back on some of my adventures with golf, I think of snapping my sand wedge in half over my knee and then my two friends responding with bursts of laughter. I started laughing too which made me conclude the best way to assuage my temper was to break a club. Obviously I couldn't do this every time because that would be really expensive, so I would have to come up with other techniques. I still haven't found these techniques but I've gotten much better.
I believe golf can be the best and absolute worst game to play. When I'm playing well it gives me the best feeling and It's really fun, which is why I play the game.

Hurricane Sandy

This past week, the East Coast of the United States was plagued by hurricane by the name of Sandy. As it moved closer and closer to the Upper Valley, everyone started worrying that it would be Hurricane Irene all over again. Now, normally I would be one of those who was fearing the worst, however, I guess I didn't have the energy to worry this time. So after school yesterday, Monday, I came home after to school to find out that I had no power. There had hardly been any wind, no rain, and there were no trees down to my knowledge, so I was completely baffled as to why I had no power. But that wasn't the entire problem. The problem was that I had no idea what to do with myself. From 3:30 pm to 4 pm, I actually just stared at a wall in my room. I was so lost due to the lack of power. I had nothing to do because nothing worked in my house. I wound up doing almost all my homework at home for the first time all year and then I ended up reading by flashlight for three hours. All in all, this "hurricane" was a real pain for me, even though I never gave it much thought

Fantasy football woes. PT 2

My Fantasy Football woes part 2:

Since my last update things have gone from bad to worse. My team has a second to last record of 2-5-1. Yes thats right a tie. The worst possible outcome of any sporting event on the face of the planet. It happened last week while I was playing my brothers team, who by the way is in last place. Any ways, I went into the match up feeling very confident. My projections were good, and i was coming off a rare win from the previous week. However, the fantasy football gods decided to plague my team with injuries yet again. Maurice Jones-Drew injured his foot without getting me a single point. To make matters worse he will be out for at least four weeks.So MJD gave me nice old goose egg, while my kicker and tight end combined for 1 point. This means that three out of my nine starters, exactly one third of my team scored a total of one point. Anyways, Andrew Luck decides to fumble at the end of his game (-2 points) and thats the difference between my team becoming a .500 team, or tying the worst team (my brothers team).
 This brings us to the most recent week. Anther sub par performance from my team was at hand. MJD was out along with my star wide receiver Jordy Nelson who had been smoking hot in the past three weeks.So two of my best players were out and so my chances were already slim. Yet again the fantasy football gods mocked me by allowing my opponents player Doug Martin to score 35 points! Doug who? Yeah he's a rookie down in Tampa Bay. A respectable rookie, but a rookie non the less. He could have scored a touch down , maybe even rushed for over a hundred yards, but no, he had to get over 200 all purpose yards and two touchdowns. Its just ridiculous. 

Things on the Team that just Chap, Vol. 2

We just played our final game on Hanover's home turf, for some of us the last in our high school careers. It was the quarterfinal round of the D1 New Hampshire Playoffs, and we were fortunate that our opponent on that day would be a weaker one than we expected- Pinkerton was upset by Merrimack, which was a huge surprise to everyone. We were excited by this because Pinkerton would have been a much stronger opponent, but we were all grateful to get out of there with the win against even a much weaker team, especially following last year's streak-breaking loss in the quarterfinals. The final score was 5-0, and we had the right to be proud, but the memory of my final game on the beloved turf field will always have an asterisk, forcing me to remember that we it was just another day in the park instead of an intense, blood-pumping playoff game I would have hoped for. Oh well. A win is a win. Perhaps we would have lost to Pinkerton had we played them, and then I wouldn't even want to remember the game. Again, Oh well. Time to look ahead to Thursday, for our semifinal game against a Londonderry team that beat us 3-0 in our last meeting. Now that's going to be a game to remember.

The Hyannis Sound

Soarthroats is drawing closer to its first concert, and a capella has been on my mind a lot lately. Whenever I look for inspiration among a capella groups, I always end up back at The Hyannis Sound. They are hands-down the best singing group I have ever heard. The Hyannis sound is made up of about 20 college males from all across the country who spend their summer living in a huge house on outer Cape Cod, learning a vast repertoire of music.

The most impressive aspect of the Hyannis Sound is the quality of the singers. Every year they pull together a crew of singers that could easily be professional, and some of them are. The combinations of all these amazing voices is striking to say the least; their blending and accuracy in unparalleled. You may have heard Marc Whittington when he was at Hanover High -- he didn't even make the group on his first audition. The better you know him, the more shocking this will be to you. It took him a second try to make it. This alone speaks to the high standards they maintain as a group.

Another reason Hyannis Sound is at the top of my list is their arrangements. I speak from experience when I say that taking a song and reducing it into a small number of voice parts is not easy. However, you wouldn't know it listening to them -- they seamlessly blend complex sections into an overall sound that stays true to the original song while making it their own.

While listening to the Hyannis Sound, it is easy to forget that you're not hearing any instruments. I highly recommend giving them a listen -- and at the least, come see them when they visit Lyme in April.

A Stand Against My Enemy

I am a firm believer that one should write about whatever one feels about writing.  Otherwise, the writing will not seem genuine.  I am not feeling in a very insightful mood today.  Instead I feel like I am in the mood to rant about something that isn’t worth your time.  So that’s exactly what I shall to.

            Boy do I hate cupcakes.  I hate it when someone is celebrating their birthday, and to “celebrate”, they hand out a delectable treat that everyone enjoys but me.  Everybody else shoves the giant glob of sugar down their throat while I sit watching in agony.  Why don’t I like cupcakes?  Unfortunately, the frosting makes me want to vomit.  So I would appreciate it if you all could do me a favor and not have any more birthdays, so there are no more cupcakes.

            At this point, anybody who is actually bored enough to still be reading this is surely thinking that this is as bad as it gets, but I assure you, it isn’t.  I don’t like regular cake either.  Chocolate cake, Vanilla Cake, Carrot Cake, and a bunch of other types of cake that I can’t think of are all disgusting.  Whoever invented cake should be locked in a room with nothing to eat but cake for the next five years.  Eventually, even he will become tired of cake, and that way, I won’t be alone in my struggle against this delectable villain.

            But I suppose it isn’t all bad.  I do love ice cream cake, and no matter how much of it I eat, I never become fat.  I could spend hours shoving it down my throat, and afterwards, I would still want more.  Daniel Wilson without ice cream cake is like our government being productive; It simply can’t happen if the world is to stay in balance.