Technology

About five minutes ago, I had 400 words written on this blog. I was thinking it was about time to wrap it up, and then post it. Suddenly, my display shuts off for some reason. Amidst swearing and fist waving, I realize the computer is still on and is not responsive. My charger is still plugged in, so it is not an energy deal. I have had this computer, a MacBook Pro, for 6 months, so its still quite new. So why the hell am I going to have to spend another 20 minutes rewriting a completely random piece of free writing that has no real purpose? Because technology (Sorry Fritz Wallace) is consistently unreliable. We live in an age where technology is king, where people continually praise its wonders, its practicality, and its potential. Technology is wonderful, practical, and very powerful, yet it has yet to be flawless. The owners of every major technological enterprise claim with every new device that it is faster and better. Yet I have yet to notice a decreasing number off flaws in the technology I use. Every new piece of technology seems to fail me as frequently as the rest. I am certain that if I explained my woes to some computer expert (Fritz) they would supply an explanation that would only shifts the blame to me, when in fact the truth is that everything that is manufactured using many parts has an increased chance of not working, and a laptop these days has more components than almost anything. The worst part of all this is that computers fail so infrequently that we have started to rely on them too heavily, causing the failure to be so much more devastating. Sigh. I don't know how many words I have but I am posting this now before I am betrayed once more.

Complaint to Eating Well

A letter that I sent (through email) to the editors of Eating Well Magazine.

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Eating Well-

As much as I enjoyed reading this October's issue of EatingWell, I was left with a sour taste in my mouth after reading "The E-Mail Home."

Your writer must have intended for this to be a humorous piece poking fun at parents and their eating habits, but I believe it portrayed parents (and grandparents for that matter) as being completely oblivious as to what they are consuming. Next time, I suggest you spend your time writing about something intended to be humorous, but don't poke fun at parents - they do the best they can to raise us to be healthy, smart and as aware as possible while tailoring to our every needs. They sacrifice a lot for our well being.

I can't wait to arrive home from school and eat a wonderfully nutritious meal thoughtfully made by my parents. Perhaps I'll get a stomach ache from eating too many greens. How ironic would that be?

Erin Donohue (age 17)

Norwich, Vermont

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I guess you really had to read the piece to understand my complaint letter. Oh well...

NFL Week 2 predictions

Detroit vs. Kansas City: After a surprising loss week 1 to the Buffalo Bills, I am not expecting much from the Kansas City Chiefs. They will be without their star Safety Eric Berry, and really will have no answer for the Lions offensive attack. They Chiefs are also a very run oriented team, and will not be able to run on the Lions stout and deep defensive line. 32-7 Detroit.

Buffalo vs. Oakland: Oakland impressed me week 1 by beating the Broncos. But they won by 3 which they got on a 63 yard record tying field goal in the final seconds of the first half from Janikowski. I would not expect any field goal over 50 yards in Buffalo a tough stadium for kickers. But, Buffalo was very good offensively last week, and are a passing team playing against a run defense. 35-21 Buffalo

Minnesota vs. Tampa Bay: Tampa Bay should turn it around and Blount should run all over the Vikings D. 24-14 Buccs

New Orleans vs. Da Bearsh: Urlacher missed some time early this week due to the death of his mother, but he will be back with the team for sundays game, and the bears will rally around him and challenge the Saints. 30-27 Bears

Titans vs. Ravens: I think all I need to say is Raven's D. 24-3 Ravens.

Indy vs. Cleveland: Kerry Collins and the Indy offense should do better, and the Browns wont bring much of a pass rush, or secondary, but they will still win. 27-14 Browns.

Jets vs. Jaguars: Simply put the Jags gave away their QB. 27-3 Jets

Pittsburgh vs. Seattle: Pittsburgh's defense will not let up more than 21 points 2 consecutive weeks. They have been humiliated and will rebound. 21-0 Steelers.

Washington vs. Arizona: Neither team brings a defense to this game. Arizona win because of 2 factors: Larry Fitz, and Rex Grossman being Rex Grossman. 24-21 Arizona

Carolina vs. Green Bay: 27-18 Green Bay.

49ers vs Cowboys: Cowboys put up a fight vs. the Jets week 1, and Rob Ryan's D will shut down Frank Gore and whoever Harbaugh has at QB. 24-10 Cowboys.

New England vs. San Diego: The Dolphins were able to pass and run on the Pats defense, I think Philip Rivers and Ryan Mathews will have a field day with the Pats and their lack of a secondary.
28-27 Chargers.

Miami vs Houston: Miami was impressive offensively week 1. I think they come into this game with confidence and Reggie Bush should run all over the Texans' D. 24-21 Dolphins.

Denver vs Cincy: Cincy doesn't have Andy Dalton, so Denver should pull this one out. 21-14 Denver.

Atlanta vs. Philly: the Eagles' Superteam will dominates Matty Ice and the Falcons. 38-21 Eagles.

NY Giants vs. St. Louis: Rams will be without Steven Jackson. 21-10 G Men.

Modern Art by Fritz Wallace

I have seen a good number of oil slicks, and good amount of modern art. The latter I would consider generally more harmful, for unlike the oozing slick, it is a deliberate disaster, a conscientious, and thought out attack on go scocsity od taste.

The modern artist is the waste product of society. While his peers attempt to try to gain a greater understanding of the universe through physics, mathematics, and neuro-chemestry, the modern artist attempts to gain understanding with the help of Cannabis sativa, and various similar compounds. They have little understanding of color and perception, only knowing that "more is better".

Now, when I say modern art, I do not talk about the twisted pieces of metal found outside large corporate structures, nor do refer to the Lovecraftian architectural masterpieces/horrors perpetuated by certain architects on unsuspecting millionaires. If it exists in more then 2 dimensions, or could not be created by a over eager man with crowbar with access to his ex-wifes husbands car, it is not what I am referring to.

Modern art tends to be flat. It may have lumps of paint, or wrinkled canvas, but the art will be flat. If encountered anywhere but in a art museum, one would get the impression that a world championship paintball tournament had had happened somewhere in the vicinity, and that one team had taken to hiding behind a large piece of fabric, and the other had attempted to blast the crap out of it.

Now, some will say that I am overly harsh. They will point to the good reveiws of critics, to the lavish amounts of money paid for them. To which I will reply, there are people who pay to have fish eat dead skin off your feet. Let me say that again. Fish. Eating skin. Off your feet. (This is still a better use of money then modern art)

Now, why then does modern art seem so well liked? The root of the problem here is not the art, by the reviewer.

Consider the modern day art critic. He dines at fine restaurants. He wears inauspicious, but tailor made suits. He attends parties that would best be described as Galas, but without dancing. He drinks, eats, breaths, and lives off the very pinnacle of refinement in our culture. He is the sort of person who fixs typos in his late night reading. His late night reading is the dictionary. He can write 10,000 words about the symbolism in a picture of a man standing on the beach. Whether or not the beach goer in question is thinking anything more then "I wish I had put on more sun screen" or "Did I lock the hotel door?", the critic can still write a waterfall of words about this.

Now consider what happens to this poor sheltered member of the human race when he encounters modern art. His mental thesaurus fails him. His perception of good taste and the sort of things you should find in galleries is inexplicably shattered. He must then write 1,000 words on it. 1,000 words, a paltry amount, now a mountion from a molehill. What can he write? That it was "Stunning"? "Shocking"? "Undescribable"? "Unprecedented"? It's all he can write. And this makes modern art look good.

So perhaps you may enjoy it. Perhaps you can delude yourself into believing there is a deeper meaning. Go ahead. Its your time and money.

I however, in lieu of the recent Supreme Court ruling, will be enjoying my art on a computer screen, and try to level up a Assassin to 20. For the eighth time. God I hate Werecats.

Dear Cam Newton,

Congratulations on the BCS championship, you definitely defended your hiesman status in that game. How awesome did it feel to win, after such a turbulent season with all that scandle stuff involving you taking money from colleges? I had your back the whole time, clearly you are too much of an upstanding citizen to partake in illegal activities, and went to school just for the education and opportunity to play good football. I was wondering though, with the NFL putting salary caps on rookie contracts next year, will you go into the draft this year and get paid or will you wait and finish your college education before going to the NFL? I bet that decision is one that requires lots of thought, but if it were my decision, I would take the money.

-john staiger

Embryonic: Excellent Album

The Flaming Lips most recent album of original music, which came out in 2009, (their other new album was a cover of Floyd's Darkside of the Moon), is one of my favorite new albums of the past few years, and even the past decade. The Flaming Lips are band that have swayed between several different musical styles, often mixing electronic and rock sounds together. Some of their albums I have found particulary dull, such as "Soft Bulletin", and to a lesser extent, "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots". These albums I would consider too much in line with standard, boring indie fare of today, although "Yoshimi..." should be lauded for being a semi-concept album in this day and age of singles rather than albums. Embryonic is also a semi-concept album, not exactly telling a story, but all the tracks are united by common themes and common sound. This is an album to sit down and listen to the whole way through.

While not all of the tracks can stand for themselves, they are all intruiging to listen to, and I enjoyed every bit of the album. All too much these days albums are essentially three songs the band put a lot of work and production into, and the rest of the album is just filler. Since the album is well over an hour long, I will just discuss a few of the tracks that really stood out for me.

"The Sparrow looks up at the Machine" is the second song on the album and my favorite. The song's guitar and vocals are heavily destorted. The rythmic pounding of the drums and heavy, heavy bass puts you into a trance like state almost from the beginning. The songs lyrics, about finding truth in an age of machines, and the numerous mentions of dreams fit perfectly with the music, which as well as putting one into a dream like state, also feel almost like industrial equipment pounding away in a factory.

My other favorite song from this album was "Worm Mountain". I am not sure of the significance of the song's meaning, but this one I like just for the sound its self. Similar to "The Sparrow... the guitar and bass are really distored and heavy. Really, Really distorted and heavy. The riffs and bass hooks are really catchy too.

Last but not least, my third favorite song, "The Ego's Last Stand". The song has a really catchy double bass line. It is one of the more minimilistic songs on the album, being mainly just bass, a touch of percussion and singing for most of the song. Towards the end the drums and guitar kick in, making for a terrific crescendo as the finale.

Please let me cook dinner...

My parents are away on a business trip, and my aunt is staying with me and my sisters. While she may be a nice person, she really, really doesn't have any idea of how to cook. On some diet involving only the consumption of raw vegtables, she makes herself fresh salad every day. The rest of us are not so lucky. She has already cooked most of the meals for the week and frozen them. Tonight we had spaghetti cooked three days ago -not leftovers- but specifically cooked to be eaten three days later. What madness is this? Spaghetti is arguably one of the easiest foods possible to cook. Step 1: Boil water. Step 2: Turn burner down and place spaghetti in water, leave for ten minutes. Step 3: Pour spaghetti in a colander and serve. Why can't she just do that at dinner time? The bread, which was French, was also bought several days ago. French bread is notorious for going hard the day after it's baked. I live two hundred meters from Dan and Whit's. Fresh bread was within easy range of acquisition. I don't mind that you are one some crazy diet in which you can't eat carbs, but think of the rest of us. Cold, tastless mush is not something to look forward too after a hard day of school and practice. Please let me cook.