Turkey Day

Two weeks until turkey and mashed potatoes smothered with gravy, cranberry sauce, brussel sprouts, stuffing, squash, and clams. The main course is always fine and dandy, but the pies is where it's at. Pumpkin, minced meat, apple, blueberry, rhubarb, rum pecan, cherry, banana cream, peach, and lime. It's important to fill up your main stomach on turkey and 'taters, but never let them spill over into the dessert stomach. After you finish the main course, don't dive into the pies right away; take a rest for about half and hour and talk with the aunts and uncle. Maybe play a little bridge or hearts. Then, while you're still playing, have someone bring out the pies and cider. Please do not ruin the pies by eating them with ice cream; it will just take away from the flavor. The only exception is apple pie. You can have a little bit of vanilla ice cream with the apple pie if you want. The pumpkin pie should be served with a tad of whipped cream, but other than that don't add anything else to the pies. I would advise starting with the rum-pecan and banana-cream pies; they are too sweet to be saved for last. Don't scarf down huge bites at a time. The meal is all about relaxing, so take little bites and enjoy yourself.

Remember, only two weeks left. I would recommend buying your practice turkey soon so that you can have your warm-up thanksgiving this weekend.

Eat baby Eat

Many people cannot manage to competitively eat. It is an art; do not misunderstand, I am no pro, but I am no novice either. To put my skills bluntly, one day after a crew practice, I ate the "big green" at lous in under twenty minutes. Then i proceeded to "gank" food from unsuspecting gossipers. in my defense, who cares enough about who someone might like, to not notice me "sniping bacon and hash browns."

Any who, when talking about true competitive eating, I fall by the waste side. several heroes in the food eating world include, Kobayashi and Joe Chestnut. Both have done several things to take note and require awe. Joe does the unheard of; he drains a gallon of milk in under 42 seconds. How can anyone challenge him after seeing that? Well, Kobayashi challenges a grizzly bear to a hotdog eating contest. Naturally he loses, I mean its an adult grizzly, but he challenged a bear. How much more epic can you be than test your skillz verse a monster.

Anther blunt realization is you cannot feel that same "hunger" watching other sports, sometimes you can satiate yourself on the food channel or watching Iron chef, but its just not the same, its like asking someone for a coke and getting a pepsi, its lacking.

-just another impressed fan

How Hanover, New Hampshire Will Crumble

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Call me twisted, but after the football game the other nite, there was something in the air, I thought, as I looked across the old soccer field towards town at that huge fire, burning through the silhouetted trees. I think - yes, yes i did have one of those glimpses into the future. For a split second, i saw the ruins of hanover. Or, the making of ruins, considering Hanover was completely engulfed in flames. Its definitely going to happen during an alumni bonfire; the fire will spread like fire (derp) - i don't know how, maybe some drunk dartmouth kid pulls out a burning stake from the fire (which will most likely grow over the years) and the whole thing topples on hanover like jenga, who knows? - and this LOTR preciousness that is Hanover, will come to an end.
HOWEVER! the TRUE dartmouth smartiespantzes, the ones who will emerge alive from the fireproof-library long after the city has crumbled, will peeeeeeer out from behind those thick books, and rebuild. Dartmouth, New Hampshire, they'll call it. NO ONE will pay attention as they cross the street, fore it's the first law of Dartmouth, New Hampshire. Secondly, 99 rocks music (its' buttrock, emocore, sadness, screamo preserved) will control all airwaves with a stranglehold. BAH. Dartmouth security, sick of playing "cops", claims dictatorship first over the upper valley, then the world?!? BAHH. All the while, we'll be the graduating class of 3013 at Dartmouth High School. BAAAAAHHH. deep thoughts, deep sigh.

I hate the common app

Jesus christ. I just wrote four essays today. So proud of myself. And I did the Common App. Which sucks for many reasons. The worst of these is that it is confusing. Actually no the worst is that it keeps deleting all the stuff I put in it. What the hell. Completely useless.

And the Common App is even more stupid when you ate trying to do it this late at night. Cause not it keeps pissing me off more and more and deleting stuff faster and faster. It is like an App from heck.

Hmmm I have had such a productive day. I started working at around ten this morning and didn't stop until five minutes ago. Actually thats not true cause this is work. I also spent hours and hours on YouTube, Addictinggames, Jamglue, and reading ridiculous Tucker Max stories. What a quality day.

For food I started the day off with waffles, then moved to toast, and finished up with some ice cream and apple cobbler after a mix of chinese and indian food. Doesn't that sound delicious. I know you are all jealous of the quality of my day.

I have a really cozy bed waiting for me now. So goodnight and see everyone tomorrow.

No Tecca, Heck with You

Having completed Week 6 of the RIP Cory season, one thing has become abundantly clear: Tecca sucks. When I notice that boy skipping flamboyantly down the hall towards me, I don't see a lanky body obscured by a certain type of fro, I see two trains colliding. But don't take my word for it, let's examine the facts, shall we? Gifted the first overall pick despite repeated shenanigans and baggery, he currently sits at 3-3, good for a stellar 4th in the division. In addition to these unremarkable results, his demeanor in losing has been quite pooor (sic) as well. Upon being embarrassed, instead of a courteous pound or bro hug, he insists on busting out, in a voice so high that it cannot come from two testicles, the characteristic "You know what, (insert name of victorious opponent here), f--- you." Stay classy, Tecca.

But enough about the sitzmark on the undergarments of the league. Week 6 contained some truly excellent gridiron action. Natalie Clark Brighton needed a last minute TD run from Michael Turner to edge Jr. Bacon Goots Burger 95-93, despite the goose egg thrown up by Matt Hasselbeck; Mengoots was reportedly less than impressed. Speaking of Hasselbeck, a historically worthless trade occurred earlier in the week between NCB and Reverse Peristalsis All Over the Yard, sending Hasselbeck for Owen Daniels, who actually went ahead and had himself a day...on the bench. To summarize, a total of zero, as in horse collar, points were contributed by these men to their teams.

In other league action, Trashley was too busy being not clothed to instruct Sam Gest how to run his life and thus their team struggled mightily. In a related story, the Mamba was consumed with latching upon a certain bitty and so failed to have any type of day whatsoever. On the flipside of these struggles, Football Head decided to go off and reportedly made the Golden Bear bow to his sensei. Finally, in a rare bright spot for the league, Tom Brady's performance against the Titans, which could best be described as non-consensual, caused Shane's having-fun smile to appear for an almost unprecedented 5 straight hours.

Matt Forte

The Chicago Bears' tailback has consistently struggled in the NFL season thus far. He remains on my fantasy team, but I constantly question why he's still there. But, what flusters me more than anything is why my "friend" initially advised me to draft him as my first round pick. Every Sunday, I open Safari, click on the bookmark "Fantasy Football," and see that Matt Forte has rushed for 13 yards and accumulated a total of 1 point for the week.

The main bullet point of my presentation is that Matt Forte could quite possibly be considered the biggest bust of the NFL season this year. His statistics thus far are the following: 86 attempts for 294 yards, averaging 3.4 yards per attempt. He has one touchdown all year. With his morale and his skill, he has kept my team at the bottom of my league with a record of 2-3 (probably 2-4 after tonight because Forte failed to help the squadron this week).

Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and Forte will read this post and, from there, two different things could happen. He could feel inspired and run his shoes off for the rest of his season. He could also get in contact with me and make fun of the fact that he's making millions while I'm still in high school and I complain about Fantasy Football on an English blog.

The Swine Flu Vaccine: A Dangerous Solution

I'm a bit skeptical about the swine flu vaccine. This is because swine flu is a new kind of germ, in the effort to develop a vaccine to save mankind from this disease, testing for possible side effects has been virtually ignored. Although the vaccine is probably harmless, a worry still lurks in my mind. What if it's not? This superbug is a new kind of flu, and is much more deadly than the normal flu. I'm afraid that since the this flu is so different, the vaccine will not work the way it is meant to. I'm afraid that the disease will mutate after we all get the vaccine, into an even worse virus, and most of the world will be infected. Then, the most of the worlds' population will die after languishing in pain for a few days. Those who don't die will be either turned into dark-seeking zombies, or will be immune. Finally, the zombies will eat the innocent people who survived the disease. Sound familiar? This is exactly what happened in "I Am Legend."

Although many people denied that this could actually happen, it seems that doomsday is rapidly approaching. We should all be prepared for anything to happen, and know as much as we can about this possibility. I suggest that our APW class watches "I Am Legend" together and takes notes on how Will Smith survived. I'm sure that most of the class knows quite a lot about zombies and other horrific creatures, but I am not one of them. I cannot watch scary movies. The most frightening movie I've seen was "I Am Legend," and I had nightmares for three months. Ads for "2012" practically gave me a panic attack. I saw about five minutes of "Resident Evil" on TV and had to leave as soon as the zombies limped onstage. In event of an apocalyptic event that involves creatures from horror films, I wouldn't know what to do. If I got attacked by a zombie, I would probably cry. That's my only defense.

In light of this approaching disaster, I have some tips on how to survive when the time comes. Everyone should remember the symptoms of a person infected with an "I Am Legend" type disease–red eyes, hair loss, growling–and do their best to stay away from infected people. Make sure to stockpile on nonperishable items. Twinkies supposedly last forever, so they are an ideal food to keep in your basement. Also, never leave home without a few of them in your backpack; you never know when disaster might strike. Remember to stay calm in event of an emergency. Also, talk with some of the zombie experts in our grade. I know of some very competent people who know everything about zombies and end-of-the-world scenarios. Although I'm not saying we shouldn't get a swine flu vaccine, I'm simply pointing out one of the very real consequences that could occur if we all do.