Roadrunner and His Band of Only Bugles

As my new job as a crossing guard, I have realized there are some crazy drivers out there. I know that it is early in the morning, but sleepiness doesn't justify their behavior. Everyday there are drivers decide whether or not they want to stop. Every now and then someone will get distracted while they are stopped, and it will take them a few seconds to realize that I am beckoning them to move forward. If I get the chance, I am going to creep up to one of the sleeping drivers and bang harshly on their hood; hopefully this will elicit some sort of irrational reaction from the driver; by the same token, hopefully the driver won't be surprised and stomp on the gas. I suppose that my directions aren't always the clearest, but there're not that bad.

Every morning, there is one asian couple that turns left from Summer Street onto Lebanon Street. The driver is female and wears glasses. And yes, she is often awarded the "Worst Driver of the Morning" award. She always creeps up to the line, leans over her steering wheel, and points questioningly in the direction she wants to go. "Can I turn left?" No, the circular motion of my arm is merely a friendly morning wave. Once I spell out the turning left is OK, she procedes as far forward as possible--making me jump out of the way before I get run over--and then cuts a very sharp left. This story isn't supposed to re-enforce any stereotypes, but let's face it: it certainly doesn't not support any stereotypes.

The best part of the job is wearing the neon green jacket. It is a very nice shell: high collar, wide cuffs, eye-hurting color. I would really look like a boss if it said something cooler across the back; I was thinking "SWAT" would look nice. It is also a great jacket to wear while riding my motorcycle. It is next to impossible to miss its radioactive glow.

Keeping you safe in your cars and on the crosswalks,

Your neighborhood crossing guard.

Cell Phones

I just lost my cellphone. Right now I am worried, trying to figure out how I will get through the rest of the day without it. I can't remember where I put it, or when the last time was that I had it. How am I supposed to find it when it could be anywhere in school?
Even though I am worried about finding it, I am even more worried about the fact that people rely way to much on their material devices. Cellphones used to not even exist, and now one can't live a moment without it. I find if I even leave it at home for a day I experience with-drawl. It's one of those things that I feel that I need at all times, just in case.
In reality technology is very useful. It probably has saved millions of lives, or helped us move forward, but we seemed pretty well off without it. People are reading less and less, while watching TV more often now that it is also accessible on the internet. The simple things in life just don't seem to satisfy.
Sometimes I wish we could just go back and live life where there wasn't technology. Life would almost be less stressful. Now I have a million and one things I have to keep track of when I go out, because they all are expensive and I don't feel I can be without them. I also always find myself constantly checking facebook or email. I can barely last ten minutes without checking one or the other. It may be just because I get bored, but I feel I would get so much more work done if they just weren't there.
I still haven't found my cell phone, I am still freaking out, but I am sure it will turn up soon, and if it doesn't I will survive...

spaldo

sooo i have a problem. i have a dartmouth class that runs before apw which sometimes runs kinda late. why is this a problem?? because i end up late for apw!!! i hate even missing one second of that class. the classes on grammar usage are so controversial and thought provoking.  reading the poetic writing of my peers is so inspiring it sometimes brings me to tears.  As soon as my dartmouth class ends i sprint back to HHS saying a silent prayer to the gods that i wont miss a second of apw.  just writing this makes me excited for 5th period tomorrow. when i walk in that room  never know what will happen next, but one thing is for sure: that i will leave that room a better man

HOW COULD I FORGET TELLING WRITING!!!!!! dayummmmm that book is amazing.  Its a real page turner. If Shakespeare had read that book, he would have been a better writer. Its a flawless piece of work.  The plots are exciting, the advice life changing. I can only hope that i can get my hands on my own copy, because I know that this beautiful piece of work is something i never want to be without. Thank You Telling Writing

Zombies

Zombies are so cool!!! They are my favorite monster of all time. Now in case of an impending zombie attack, there are 5 things that you NEED to know:

1. Organize before they rise

2. They feel no fear, why should you?

3. Cut off their heads!

4. Blades don't need reloading...

5. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, and keep alert!

The ONLY way to kill a zombie is by destroying the brains! According to Max Brooks (Author of "The Zombie Survival Guide"), it takes almost 24 hours for an infected human to reanimate from a corpse to a zombie. Infection can only occur through direct fluidic contact.

I think that zombies are cool because in a way they are a metaphor for disease. Also, people realize what is truly important in life. People are able to see the difference between just surviving and really LIVING.
The end.

Season Marked by Poor Effort

With week 4 of RIP Cory action in the books, some immense surprises have arisen. Foremost, the Mamba has nursed its body back to health after being wounded in a fierce mongoose battle in week 1 to become one of the hottest teams in the league. Whipped Already? (co-owned by Sam and Trashley Widmer) is another squad on the rise, having bounced back from a vicious beating at the hands of the league-leading Natalie Clark Brighton in week 1.

Alas, for every cinderella story, there must also be a silly sophomore with a J-fro, and Chris Tecca has both these qualities in spades. At the time we went to press, his matchup had not yet been completed, but rest assured, he will find some way to lose, as he has managed to do nearly every other week. Another fallen giant, in more ways than one, is the Gunnar Shaw-owned Grizzly Adams Had a Beard, which is currently in the midst of a two game skid.

Other than these erratic performers, the season has been marked by parity and consistency. Each team has both won and lost a game, and the playoff races are tight, with no clear frontrunner. The other teams are: the always abysmal Lata Jobin, the mercurial Illness All Over the Yard, the quietly excellent Ferguson, and Disregard Women Obtain Currency, whose owner shall remain nameless, but has recently gotten himself. Finally, there is the team owned by Will "Mongoots" Gautier, who has been too consumed with watching youtube videos of subpar quality to actually name his team. Seahorses 4eva.

Becoming Famous

We all aspire to be famous. However, our paths leading to that fateful day of reckoning all take different paths. For me, I found my fame in video games. I play a game called Warcraft III, its not World of Warcraft, but a RTS (real time strategy). No I’m sorry I never got addicted to warCRACK, anyhow my story begins on a late, dark night over the summer. The hour was around 3 am and the room boomed with “I gotta feeling.” I was on my game and had just finished “pwning” several noobs. The next game however I was playing with an ally (another person). The game was getting difficult and it seemed as if we would lose. It came down to one final battle, where I microed(controlled units to prevent them from dying, yet keeping them packing dps (damage per second)) ridiculously well. We ended up prevailing and the “kid” (possibly 40 year-old I was playing with) began to praise me with the highest of honors. Saying things like “Are you korean?” and “We just OWNED them.” My story does not end here however, my account name is known on warcraft, people know who I am. When I enter a game I don’t just get the usual “wassup” I get the “please play with me, give me tips.” Most importantly I tell them nothing making sure that the next night there will be ample noobs to pwn. Some people think that beating people who are worse than you at a game would get tiring, I never tire. I feel I have a role in the video game world, to make sure that if a noob is in a game, that they lose, and that they are told to "UNINSTALL! NOOB!".

Mongoose or Black Mamba?

The black mamba is a snake, named after its venomous black mouth, not its olive green scales. According to National Geographic, it is highly aggressive when confronted and resides in the Sahara and other areas of Africa. The black mamba can slither up to 12.5 mph, which is abnormally fast for a snake.

However, the black mamba's greatest enemy is the mongoose. Both its appearance and its tactics make the mongoose the epitome of a weasel. The mongoose especially loves the challenge of attacking snakes. It is incredibly deceptive and takes advantage of the friendly snakes. You can reference the following video to see for yourself .

So, who would you choose in a fight? Why?

The bias may be towards those mongoose bastards, but consider the lethal maneuvers of the black mamba.